It’s so hard to lose people and then to try to say something about that loss. Elena was my friend, sometimes my collaborator, always bringing the unexpected and what would she say? ‘Oh well. What can you do?’ and then she would do it: write a story, sketch out a comic, go to spin class. Always busy. She called her first comics site Crazy Mama productions. She was always the mom, always looking out for people, always taking care. I first searched my drive for pictures not lost in the previous computer crash: lots of ‘at Elena’s’ pictures of wine glasses or the bizarre concoctions she would come up — remember the Apple Martini craze? I tried to forget it — or blurry pictures of people laughing. We were always laughing. The house was always welcoming, always room for more, Elena ready to cook at a moment’s notice — and enough for an army.

How did we meet? It must have been something with the old UConn Comix Mafia: maybe one of the times Steve Bissette came down to talk to Tom Roberts’ class. I’m sure it was that though maybe it could have been Necon but I think Necon came after because it was Steve who suggested going to Necon, which the first time I met Graham Joyce (alas, also gone far too soon) and he told the story of the djinn. Elena was drawing the Vampire Bed & Breakfast that later focused more on the Goth Scouts who had bedevilled Vlad. Elena was good pals with my pal Phil Nutman (alas, also gone–done in by many devils) and we had many spirited discussions about weird horror stuff which is to say we completely disagreed on as much as we wholeheartedly agreed on. She dragged me to Hal the Bookie’s (RIP) to buy pulp fiction and vintage comics or we just hung around the kitchen table and yakked for hours. Or she tried to make us watch Wet Hot American Summer which the whole family was obsessed with.

How did Jane Quiet come about? Fortunately we put that in the comic itself because I have a head like a sieve; so Elena suggested riffing on John Silence and I suggested a wordless comic — something I would come to regret as we wrestled with how to tell the story. But it came out great and Elena got her main wish: to draw a real kick-ass monster.

We worked hard to get the comic out to mostly deaf ears and closed eyes, but were really proud of it and started thinking about the next go round. In fact we have a few pages (I think I will try to put stuff together so I can make it available to folks). It was going to include Sekhmet which was cool. But we were also pulling a bit in opposite directions: me wanting it darker, Elena wanting it more slapstick, so it was a long process.

And then Rod got sick. Very sick. Elena dropped everything to not only take care of him but to research and push doctors to find out what the hell was going on because it was truly weird. And Elena appreciated the cruel irony of the Vampire Bed & Breakfast artist’s husband developing a super rare blood disease. The two of them: I remember one of the many parties we were at — somewhere? Maybe the Aloha Alcohula at the QoE’s. Her and Rod dancing together like two teens smitten for the first time: no one else existed. The two of them were so great. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to grow up as kids whose parents never tired of telling the world how much they loved them all. And their grandkids when they came along–doting doesn’t begin to describe their joy. And of course weirdnesses: Elena’s obsession with Heino came about because Lydia was living in Berlin.

It was heartbreaking that while Rod was getting very ill and then dying, Elena developed an aggressive cancer. I hate that these things happen to the best people while repulsive lying scumbucket traitors continue not only to live but to continue to scam the credulous. But as Elena would say, oh well, what can you do? Make the cool stuff, love your friends, celebrate the ones who deserve to be here. Though I wonder if there’s a way to top Rod’s basketball urn…

Pal Mike Rhode has put together a nice remembrance full of links including an archived interview with Elena. I am not so organised. Mike Lynch had kind words, too.

Here’s the official obit with a request for donations to Sloan-Kettering Cancer Research Center. The memorial is Saturday. See you there.

ADDENDUM: I was going to remember to mention the picture of Elena’s mom as a circus acrobat! That picture just made her so happy.