The Withnail & I cottage is going on sale! I must have it — my pal Peg and I have decided we must scheme to make it ours, so please give generously so we can go re-create the film’s misadventures. Yes, yes — of course you can come visit. Hare optional.

The farmhouse goes under the hammer at the Berkeley Hotel in Knightsbridge, London, on 16 February, with a guide price of £145,000.