I dislike being assessed. Being judged and evaluated, measured against some abstract scale, always makes me resentful. I have my own measures of success and have no interest in conforming to anyone else’s opinions of what is valuable.
Of course, when you choose to become part of academia, it’s a non-stop parade of evaluation. As a student you’re graded on what you write, what you say and what you do. When you become a faculty member, you’re graded on your grading and general teaching, on your writing, as well as the publishing and presenting of that writing and its attendant research, as well as how many committees you sit on, organisations you join and contributions you bring. Bleh.
Everyone gets evaluated on their job; I should just get over myself. But I have a lot of material to gather together. I’ll try to remember to take a picture of the tenure package before I deliver it. Nearly there. The letter is out to friends for scrutiny. Meanwhile, holes to punch. It may prove soothing after straining to pull meaningful but not too clever prose from my brain.
UPDATE: It also didn’t help that I discovered that all of last year’s course evaluations were missing. It turns out our departmental secretary has them (after assuring me this morning she did not); I would have gone to get them by now, but she’s apparently left for the day.